Monday, January 14, 2013

you're not your knot



        I know the picture is cliché, but it was a necessary cliché...which, believe it or not, is real. I once read this girl's blog, and I found things I wasn't expecting to find. I found resemblance. Normally, a girl would be angered in realizing resemblances with another girl, but I was not angry; I felt relieved. I felt relieved because I saw similarities, and I saw differences. While the similarities could create a connection so very unnecessary, the differences satisfied my (personally undesirable) need of being my own person. It's almost like you need to "one-up", when really you just need to feel different...and it can be difficult to feel so. 
       I had a conversation or two today. I didn't favor silence, even in the memorial of Aaron Swartz. I also learned your mind is not your friend. There is something terrible there... I could also be of course referring to my awful stomach ache from a vigorous afternoon of nasty  snacking. The snacks weren't nasty, but my habit is.
      The title of this entry does have a point. You're not your knot. You're not something that can withhold you from doing anything you want. You're also not your own support system. Independency is blissful and very entertaining. You can't save yourself. You also can't promise yourself. Promises are between two people, anyway. Just one (person) isn't (fun) enough. I'm saying that you can try to be independent. You can try to live by yourself. You can try go to dinner by yourself. You can try to watch tv by yourself. You can try to go to a concert by yourself (God forbid). You really can't, though.
       Did you know tav was a word? It means this. 
       I will leave you with these troublesome words:

             "Then they said to the fig tree,
                    You be our king!'
               But the fig tree also refused, saying, 
               'Should I quit producing my sweet
                         fruit
                      just to wave back and forth over the trees?'..."


     I do love me some Fig Newtons, guys...